“Hockey is like heroin. Only drug addicts do heroin. It’s not like a recreational drug. It’s never like, No, that’s O.K., I’m not going to have heroin. You guys go right ahead. Hockey is kind of the same way. Only hockey fans watch hockey.”
– Chris Rock
Hi, my name is J.P., and I’m a heroin addict.
They took my heroin away on a Saturday night …
I was sitting at the kitchen table at my girlfriend’s apartment in L.A. when my heart sank at the realization that I wasn’t going to a hockey game the next day. A part of me was gone, and that’s when it hit me: I really was addicted to this thing, covering the NHL, that I’d reduced to a four-letter word — “work”. I probably lost some color in my face, too. (Coincidentally, that’s what happens if the Kings go to a shootout at Staples Center and the press box is out of coffee.)
The scene was straight out of an undergrad film student’s attempt at urban drama, each line followed by a #firstworldproblems hashtag. I didn’t lose my job that night. The following Friday, a paycheck was direct-deposited into my bank account, just like clockwork. All I’d lost was my heroin, the NHL, by virtue of a decision handed down through the MediaNews Group Inc. food chain. They told me to sober up by covering other leagues and other sports.
Only the boss never actually sent me to rehab. I’m checking myself in. Right here, right now. Continue reading “Welcome to AllPuck”