AllPuck

Posts Tagged ‘fiction’

Part 6 in a series. Read parts 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.

SUBURBAN VANCOUVER – We had to take cover and bail the oncoming assault of mortars from you-know-who.

Red alert? This was more like taking shelter for a tornado-tsumani-earthquake disaster that opened the Earth and swallowed your soul.

Our Secret League threatened the NHL’s existence as the final grains of sand sifted through the time capsule and the NHL season threatened to die.

And then the NHL took action and launched a full-scale war.

Our “location” was no longer a secret: They discovered we were in suburban Vancouver.

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Part 5 in a series. Read parts 1, 2, 3 and 4.

DATELINE UNKNOWN – It’s been a while since our last report from the “Secret League” — two weeks, to be exact — but the delay is not our fault. Our dispatcher was filing a report, only to see a mortar eliminate our satellite tower.

We were out of action for a week.

And we know who’s responsible for it.
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Part 4 in a series. Read parts 1, 2 and 3.

DATELINE UNKNOWN – Well, it’s been interesting here. We’ve had a full-scale brawl between the Bruins and Canadiens, Todd Bertuzzi whimper like a dog when an electric fence knocked him unconscious, Drew Doughty sipping beers on the bench, five pudgy agents flatten Shane Doan WWF-style, Henrik Lundqvist customize three buses into “Pimpmobiles,” and Ryan Suter join Zach Parise in the penalty box … even though Suter was never penalized.

Hard to believe, but it’s all happened through two weeks of our Secret Season.

And you’ll never believe what happened this week: A missile nearly struck our village.

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Part 3 in a series. Read parts 1 and 2.

DATELINE UNKNOWN – Todd Bertuzzi whimpered like a dog when the electric fence knocked him unconscious. Hey, we warned him: Do not leave … or else. And he certainly discovered our meaning of “else.”

Else equals a tongue-out-of-the-mouth nap.

Else equals a visit to the village infirmary.

Else equals no hockey for a month.

Note to fellow Secret League players: If you’re gonna try and escape, don’t post “abandon ship” on the cafeteria bulletin board.

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Part two in a series. Read part 1 here.

DATELINE UNKNOWN – It probably wasn’t a good idea to house the Montreal Canadiens and Boston Bruins in adjacent buildings. Players from both sides engaged in a war of words in the village commons that transpired into fisticuffs and caused a ruckus so crash-banging loud, it awoke the entire complex.

Sigh.

We’re new at this, but what a numbskull decision.
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